3 feminist questions to ask instead of "when do you sleep?"

When was the last time you asked a woman “When do you sleep?” Have you ever muttered to yourself “How does she do it all?” Do you declare “You must be exhausted!” after toasting her promotion? ⠀ ⠀

My answers are ordinary; I don’t do it all. I’m exhausted sometimes but not all the time. I sleep when I can but not as much as I'd like (I daydream about duvet days, eating Biscoff out the jar)⠀ ⠀

Would you ask a man these questions?

I do it too; I watch you thinking *HOW* is she making this work? I remind myself of the invisible nannies, personal trainers, cleaners, wealthy parents and or spouses, private educations, and trust funds. You might be twice my age and have been working harder for longer. Or you have none of those things. I just can’t see the things you're choosing not to do (like learning a new language in 30 days or karaokeing till you are hoarse) ⠀ ⠀ Do you know what I mean when I say I don’t feel good when I get asked these questions? They imply negativity - exhaustion is unhealthy and spending too much time on one area of your life is never a good idea (unless you’re Beyonce then I think it’s ok to obsess on creative output) The truth is, I don’t have these same thoughts about men. ⠀ ⠀

There are two reasons why you ask these questions.⠀ ⠀

1. You aren’t used to seeing women deliver and perform in ALL the different ways women are capable of. The internet is letting you see behind doors that were always closed. AND things are changing (albeit too fucking slowly - for the love of god can things move faster) more of you are choosing not to have children, you’re raising families with partners who do the lions share, you’re building companies, writing books and doing whatever the fuck you want to do.⠀ ⠀

2. When you see a man building a company, writing books, or posting on social media every day you assume he has a team behind him. You assume he’s paying people to help him. But you assume the woman is doing all of it on her own. ⠀ ⠀

Let's try asking “What can I learn from how you work?” “What can you teach me about execution?” “What do you know about prioritising?”

Those answers are far more interesting. ⠀ ⠀

✨Does this resonate with you? Leave me a comment below and let me know.