10 things to try if Whatsapp is doing your head in
You have 42 new notifications. You have 15 unread messages you have been trying to reply to for over two weeks. You’re in one group you want to exit but don’t want to upset anyone. ⠀
Sound familiar?
Whatsapp is causing us problems. I think this is a consequence of the reality that human beings haven’t really figured out how to have this technology in our lives in a healthy, balanced way. We are in the messy middle period of learning by doing. We suddenly find ourselves in multiple group chats, spending more time than we’d like on our phones and Whatsapp being the last thing we see at night and the first thing we see in the morning; all of this can leave us feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed.
Here are 10 ways to better your relationship with this funny old thing we love to hate called Whatsapp.
Use your mute button ⠀
It’s there for a reason. Mute groups. Mute chats. For as long as you need to.
You have permission to exit⠀
You don’t have to justify it or explain yourself. Simply leave. If you’ve been waiting for permission here it is, you can share this post if you feel that will help you exit groups and chats that aren’t good for you.
Create the group you want to be in ⠀
You might be reading this thinking well it would nice to even be invited to one. Stop waiting. I was never invited to any new mother groups so I made my own. ⠀
Accept you can’t be engaged 100% of the time ⠀
You can’t hear and reply to every conversation that happens in your organisation or in your home. Whatsapp groups are the same. It’s okay not to read every single message. It’s okay not to reply or even read every single message. ⠀
Attention group admins ⠀
Create rules. For example; please include trigger warnings, no hard selling, no private conversations or confidentially. Don’t assume these rules are obvious. Make them explicit. Make it clear people can exit without explanation. The only rule I enforce in the group I started is no apologising. ⠀
Mark as unread
This was a game-changer for me and Whatsapp doesn’t make it easy to do. Swipe to the right on the WhatsApp message you want to toggle as unread. Tap the “Unread” button when it becomes available to mark that message as Unread. Repeat.⠀
Have a Whatsapp retrospective
Nobody is going to make this better this for you. You have to stop and pause and reflect on what’s working and what’s not working about how you are using this app and then make the changes you want to make. I wrote about how to have a retrospective on Slack; same rules apply.
Turn off notifications⠀
Trust me on this one. Don’t let your phone interrupt you.
Turn your phone off
Gasp. Try it!
Have a conversation in real life
Talk to your friends, colleagues or family members offline. How are we using this tool? How can we support each other to stay close but spend less time on Whatsapp? How can we make more time for each other offline?
To wrap up, I think most of us are addicted to social media in some way. Facebook (yes remember who Whatsapp is owned by) hires some of the best engineers in the world to build products that are addictive. It’s up to us to be intentional about how we use these tools. I hope this list helps you. I’d love to know what’s worked for you.
Further reading for those of you hungry for more:
What if every Whatsapp message was a letter