Labels, Language and Rising

There’s a long list of words we use to label women who are doing things men have always done. 

We are raising children [Enter Super Mum] 
We are building businesses [Enter Girl Boss]
We are running companies  [Enter SHEO]
We are building businesses whilst raising a family [Enter Mumpreneur]
What do you call a group of us? [Enter Ladygang]

We see these labels everywhere; TV, social media and literature. And for the most part, they annoy the hell out of me. Firstly, because the equivalent labels don’t exist for men. Secondly, they are usually aimed at and or created by white women. Thirdly, they are patronising and ultimately trying to sell us shit we don’t need. Or maybe even sell us shit to make us feel better about not fulfilling our girl boss dreams. Spew. 

However, I distinctly remember moments in my past when I connected with these words. I built my first company when I was 23, the first time I saw Sophie Amoruso’s book Girl Boss on the shelf, I thought “Yes, that’s me!”. I bought the book (it’s terrible don’t read it). Of course, today that memory makes me cringe. I was very early in my journey of understanding feminism and had never even heard of intersectionality. At that moment in time, that word inspired me and made me feel less alone. 

Nowadays, I have family and friends who’ll send me a quote about being a super mum. They don’t fully understand the day to day of my work or what I do but they see that I’m trying to raise a child and build businesses at the same time. These quotes are their way of telling me they see how hard I’m working and they think I’m super. I appreciate that very much. I once ran an event called Shereos and it was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve ever had. Yes, the name wasn’t helpful but our intent and our outcome were incredibly impactful to many.

I’m sharing these stories to illustrate complexity. It’s not helpful to write a rant about how these words are ruining everything because it’s not that simple. On the surface, I think these labels might seem to empower but when you dig deep there is no doubt are in fact diminishing our power. BUT I think these labels existing is part and parcel of progress. These labels are inspiring and excluding. They are being created, embraced, rejected and replaced. This is better than no labels at all. 

Women are not a homogeneous group; we are black, white, straight, queer, rich and poor. Most of us are fighting our way through the treacle of feminism and intersectionality. And we are rising. These labels are part of rising. We will build things that cause harm. We will use exclusionary language. We will not get it right every single time. But what’s important is we are ACTIVE. We are doing and we are learning. We make mistakes and we learn from them. 

I don’t care if you want to call yourself a girl boss or a tech bro. I care that you are active. I want you to use the words and labels that motivate you and I want you to take responsibility for educating yourself on the capitalist roots and whiteness of most of these trends. That’s how we will rise together. 

Let’s be gentle with each other.

This post was inspired by @tatyanawrites and a conversation in Karla Morales Lee’s Warrior Women group.